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Tom has been sexually sober for a few years. He says of the women he has dated: “I wanted to take them prisoner.” Tom has used pornography, gone to prostitutes, and had extramarital affairs. His father was a sex addict who kept a separate house for women he was seeing. As a child he struggled with learning disabilities. Tom recounts his early history of verbal and physical abuse by his mother. He had been in the program on and off for over 15 years. He is a tall handsome entrepreneur in his 40’s.

Tom is the leader for tonight, meaning he talks for a somewhat longer time and chooses a topic for that meeting. “SAA is open to men and women of any religious affiliation or of none….” The readings promise a new way of living “if you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it…” Then it’s time for sharing. These are short sections taken from the SAA literature that describe the program and the 12 steps. Next certain readings are read aloud by members who volunteer. The meeting starts with the serenity prayer followed by a reading of the guidelines for the meeting: there will be no “cross talk,” meaning you listen to what people say but you don’t respond or comment. People are saying hello and chatting casually there is already a sense of common ground. What follows is a fictionalized account of an average SAA meeting. Would you like to sit in on a Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) meeting? Would you like to hear what real addicts sound like talking about sexually addictive behavior?